A few weeks ago I posted a blog about our story with struggling to get pregnant and our miscarriages. I expected a few messages of support. Maybe a few people saying that they were sorry, or that they’re there for me. What I didn’t expect was hundreds of messages and comments from beautiful women telling me their own stories about their journeys through miscarriage and fertility. It’s estimated that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, some of these pregnancies are too early for people to even know they’re pregnant (much like my first), and others are a lot further along. I spent three hours trying to keep up with the constant messages that we’re streaming in across Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram and emails. I’m still getting messages come in now. So many women had experienced things similar to me, and things that were much worse. I cried through all the messages, reading story upon story of heartbreak and struggle. Some had happy endings, and some were still waiting for their miracle.
So what I want to say is that sweet girl, you’re not alone. Not now and not ever. Look around and you’ll find sisters, mothers, colleagues, friends and the picture perfect blogger you follow are going through the same and similar things. Some people are open about their journey but most are pretty quiet and I totally understand that. I didn’t want anyone to know after our first miscarriage. It can at times, feel like an embarrassing and shameful thing. Although miscarriages are really natural and common, so many ladies are ashamed of theirs and think that they must have done something wrong which is NOT the case.
However, after this recent miscarriage I knew before I even got the final confirmation that I 100% needed to share my story to both help me and to help others. Already I’ve had so many people message to say that they can relate to my story, feelings and experiences. That’s what it’s all about, helping people to know that they’re not alone. Miscarriage is an absolutely terrifying thing to go through and so rarely talked about. Miscarriage usually happens before a couple announce their pregnancy to the world and it’s a hard thing to bring up and tell people. How can you possibly tell someone you were expecting a baby but now aren’t? The world just carries on around you. If someone already earthside had passed away there would be a funeral and flowers and casseroles at the doorstep but pregnancy loss is an invisible pain. All of our babies (including yours) are very real and very loved. We had great plans for them and imagined them slotting into our lives perfectly. There’s reminders all around the house of everything we lost. The room I started painting, the info pack I got from the midwife, the savings that I was going to use to buy a pram, the online order of baby clothes that arrived just a few days after everything happened. Its not an easy journey but we’ll get through. I’m believing and praying that you will too.
I’m so glad I have a platform that I’m able to share all this and connect with other. It makes the world a little less lonely right? There were a few videos that really helped me in the middle of the storm so I’ve popped them down below. I hope they help!